Managing behaviour and emotions that is challenging can be very stressful for parents of children and adults with special needs. But it’s important to see it as a form of communication.
It is important for the development of children’s self-regulation skills, resilience, sense of self, nurturing their mental health and well being.
Emotional reflections
The table below shows how emotion reflections might be used.
| When care givers… | This helps … |
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1. Observe Don’t say anything. Watch first. Pay attention to the situation. What was the build up? (e.g., what happened before the child displayed their emotion?). Watch for facial expressions, tone of voice and posture, as well as listening to what the child is saying to get a complete picture. |
Adults to have a better understanding of:
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2. Notice all emotions Both positive and less positive emotions. |
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3. Assess What do you think the child may be feeling? Try not to judge what you think the cause of their emotion may be (although you may have some thoughts about it). |
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4. Reflect the child’s emotions back to them Make a brief statement to the child describing how they appear to you and the emotion you think you observed (e.g., “you look sad”; or “you seem excited”). |
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5. Use a variety of feeling words Over time children experience more differentiated emotions (e.g., excited, angry, frustrated, lonely) from the primary emotions (happy, mad, sad, afraid). |
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6. Acknowledge Acknowledge children’s emotions even when you are not comfortable with them or think they are unreasonable. |
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7. Revise Revise inaccurate reflections |
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(Source: Kostelnik, M.J., Whiren, A.B., Soderman, A.K.,& Gregory, K (2006). Guiding children’s social development. Theory to practice (5th ed). Thomson Delmar Learning: NY)
Parents and carers can also use non-verbal communication to reflect children’s emotions. Non-verbal communication includes body positioning, hand and arm gestures, and body language. It is important for children’s emotional development that parents’ and carers’ use of words, visual and sound cues to convey a single message. For example, talking in a calm voice with open body language (e.g., holding arms open) and a kind expression conveys gentleness, safety and trust. This helps ensure adults’ non-verbal messages reflect and are consistent with their verbal messages to children.
How you are is as important as what you say or do. Mixed messages can be confusing for children.
In conclusion, when adults understand and respect children for who they are and how they experience the world, children feel understood and valued. Children are more likely to have more positive experiences and feel less overwhelmed or out of control when they have the time and space they need to be themselves. Adults can help children to remain calm and manage their emotions by following the child’s lead and respecting their need.
| Semakan Akhir | : | 1 Mac 2017 |
| Penulis | : | Noor Suraya binti Muhamad |
| Akreditor | : | Ruhana binti Mahmod |
