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What are social skills?

Skills that help you make better social relationships:

  • Communication skills
  • Making friends
  • Sharing skills
  • Have conversations with people
  • Have good social manners
  • Have empathy towards others
  • Problem solving
  • Listening skills
  • Anger control
  • Good relationships mean easier life.
  • Empathy
  • Ability to build up rapport
  • Appropriate self-disclosure
  • Appropriate eye contact
  • Accepting criticism
  • Accepting compliments
  • Manners
  • Humor
  • Accepting consequences
  • Resisting peer pressure
  • Helping others
  • Self-esteem and self-confidence
  • Learning to disagree
  • Practice self-control
  • Table manners

Classroom survival skills

Coping skills are needed to survive and adapt in school. These include:

  • Listening and attending to instructions
  • Behaving appropriately and ignoring distractions
  • Asking for help
  • Contributing to discussions
  • Making decisions
  • Managing conflicts
  • Developing academic work habits
  • Attending to tasks
  • Being responsible for your behavior

 

Dealing with feelings

Good social skills involve understanding and managing your own feelings. These include:

  • Knowing your feelings
  • Expressing your feelings
  • Expressing concern for others
  • Dealing with your anger
  • Overcoming fear and shyness
  • Rewarding yourself

 

Being assertive

Being assertive helps you to get your point across in a clear and non-aggressive way.

  • Express your thoughts and feelings; request for what you want clearly

Tips on being assertive:

  • Appear friendly and warm
  • Good eye contact
  • Speak calmly and clearly
  • Make clear, direct requests
    • E.g. “Please do these for me…”
  • Avoid using questions as instructions (people can say “No”)
    • E.g. “Will you please ….?” instead of “Would you mind …?” or “Do you think you would be able to …?”
  • Express your thoughts and feelings with empathy
  • Say “no” to what you don’t want
  • Stay focused on what you want to change
  • Avoid accusing or blaming the other person
  • Give feedback calmly and respectfully
  • Be non-judge mental
  • Use “I” sentences instead of “You” sentences
    • Example: “I get upset when you go through my things without my permission” instead of “You makes me so mad when you go into my room and go through my stuff behind my back.”
  • Keep repeating your point, using a low level, pleasant voice

 

Interacting positively

  • Take the initiative to help people
  • Approach others in socially acceptable ways
  • Ask for permission rather than act impulsively
  • Learn how to make and keep friends
  • Share toys/materials

 

Managing conflicts

Knowing how to manage conflicts will help you get on with your life better. Conflict Management Strategies:

  • Control your emotions – See Relaxation
  • Take yourself out of a potentially explosive situation
  • Express your feelings assertively
  • Identify the reason for the conflict – Who is responsible? If it is needed, take time away from the person to think about the conflict and plan a strategy to help resolve it
  • Ask the person if he/she has time to talk
  • Listen. Listen. Listen. Allow the person to respond
  • Discuss alternatives with the person for resolving the conflict
  • Continue to discuss calmly
  • If the conflict cannot be resolved and/or you are getting angry, inform the person that you need to leave and you would like to talk about it later

 

Last Reviewed : 27 April 2012
Content Writer : Hjh. Normah bt. Che Din
Reviewer : Dr. Nazrila Hairizan bt. Nasir

 

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